Secure couples are more likely to deal with conflict by compromising, research has found. Image: iStockphoto
Research has found that people who have a high level of relationship security are more likely to compromise, rather than avoid their problems, to resolve conflict with their partner.
In a recent study, Swinburne doctoral student Sue Whelan found that the degree of security people feel with their partner may affect how they deal with conflict in relationships
Whelan surveyed 101 heterosexual couples who were currently involved in marital style relationships for varying periods of time about how they resolved conflict, their degree of relationship security and marital satisfaction.
“Research has shown that individuals who are anxious and insecure in their attachment style, generally have less success in relationships,” said Whelan.
“This is because a person who is insecurely attached to their partner will tend to deal with conflict by either escalating passionate arguments to resolve their problems so they can remain in constant contact with their partners or by avoiding discussion of their problems.”
As a practicing marital psychologist, Whelan has found that common problem areas for distressed couples are conflict resolution and a lack of behaviour that helps each person in a couple to feel secure.
“What is apparent to clinicians is that often clients know that their behaviour may be problematic in their relationships but cannot seem to effectively modify it.
“This research can help couples understand what is causing the dynamic in their relationship,” said Whelan. “If each person could understand and lean a little closer to their partner’s conflict resolution style, they could begin to communicate a lot better and stop interpreting the other person’s way of dealing with conflict as a personal attack or simply problematic.”
The research also found that we perceive ourselves to be more similar to our partners in the way we solve conflict than we actually are.
“This may contribute to our feeling of connection with our partners and the workability of our relationships,” said Whelan. “Perception of similarity enhances a sense of understanding and being understood, which in turn helps us to feel we belong together and impacts positively on relationship success.”
Whelan presented her findings at the APS conference in Hobart from the 23 to 27 September 2008.
